Why Great Leaders (and parents!) need to be like The World's #1 Shampoo

You might wonder what the hell this blog post is going to be about. What does shampoo have anything to do with being a great leader?

Well, as someone who had worked on selling shampoo for at least 7 out of my 11 years of work experience, I can tell you for a fact that the beauty care industry is all about selling confidence. They can twist and reconceptualize it all they want but whether it's hair fall shampoo, anti dandruff shampoo, or damage care shampoo, the brand gives you great (or beautiful or healthy or smooth - depending on the brand) hair that creates confidence. And when you are confident, you can do anything : get the guy, ace the job, be a rockstar. The beauty industry has it all figured out. Confidence = Performance (= $$).

So what does this have anything to do with leadership, you might ask?

Well, we as leaders could learn to be like the world's #1 shampoo or moisturizer (or soap or whatever). One of the most important things we can do as a leader or as a company is making our people feel good and confident about them selves.

People who are confident and have a positive image about themselves are much more inclined to pour their heart and soul towards their work. They operate out of passion and the will to do their best. They are focused on the quality of the work and the needs of their customers and stakeholders instead of continuously being conscious of themselves and operating out of fear of making mistakes. In the great words of John Quincy Adams : they are inspired to dream more, learn more and do more.

It seems like common knowledge and such a no brainer but its actually amazing how many leaders and companies fail to do this. Companies that hire high achievers who are typically also worriers and their harshest critics of themselves sometimes make that mistake of assuming that these type A personalities will only grow and flourish behind constant stretching and "constructive feedback".

Sure they are mentally tough but even they have their breaking points. And without that regular pat in the back or recognition for all the great effort they have put into their work, they will either eventually leave, or their work might become subpar under the pressure and stress that comes with their passion of being no.1 at everything.

I am not saying that there is no room for tough love or constructive feedback. Feedback is a gift and an amazing tool to shape and grow someone to become better at their job. And when somebody is screwing up or not helping themselves, giving them honest constructive feedback in a respectful and caring way is important. If we don't do so we are also failing as a leader because we are somehow not concerned whether or not they are growing. (How this can be achieved is the topic of a different blogpost that I should probably do some day.)

But outside these moments, we should always think about opportunities we can either 1)appreciate our team member's good work or good effort, 2)give them positive feedback on where their strengths lie, 3)give them opportunities big and small to succeed and show themself that they too can do great work and 4)letting them know that it's ok to make mistakes or fail.

It doesn't take much to remember to say "Great work!" or "Well Done!" or even a simple "Thank you for working so hard on this!". And it goes such a long way in making people feel good and appreciated.

Being able to give positive feedback on someone's strength (and also opportunity areas) requires us to be much more observant as leaders. It requires us to pay attention to how our people think, behave, talk, and present themselves. It means we actively seek for feedback from stakeholders and customers on how they work and what is working well for them. I can understand how in the midst of your busy days where you are just trying to survive from 1 day to the next, crossing out your to do list, this observing can be difficult. But it is crucial to make time and space in your day to do this. And once you have, more importantly to share the observation to the individuals, especially in telling them what they are great at, and when they have received positive feedback from others.

A former boss of mine once said that when you start a new job, its always important to look for small wins. Things that don't really need a lot of effort or rocket science to crack but can build confidence in others about your credibility but more importantly build your own confidence that you can indeed do this job. It's equally important though that as your career progresses and your confidence grows, you look for more interesting challenges, things that stretch you and grow you beyond that comfort zone. But again, because you have established that confidence in yourself, you will believe that you can conquer anything. And its that belief that will help you really do conquer it and come out even more confident than before. As leaders we need to think through how our teams can progress this way, starting from when they are new to the job to when they become more and more senior.

And last but not least, is freedom from fear of failure (4Fs) aka growth mindset. People who are afraid of failing think that once they fail that's their end. They think that once they fail, they will never be able to master that skill or reach that dream. They think that intelligence or skill or character/personality is static or cannot change. They say "Oh I can never do X. I've tried it and I have failed." People who have growth mindset on the other hand believe that life is a never ending learning process and that mistakes are just a way for us to learn and improve and grow. They are not afraid of failing or making mistakes and because of that they dare to take on challenges and because of that typically end up more successful than those who are.

Not surprisingly, this principle holds true for parenting as well. Building our kids' self confidence is an important root that we need to give them before they become pre-teens. Kids who have self confidence don't need to validate themselves as "cool" by smoking or doing drugs or dating different people. They are self sufficient and they are focused on doing what they love or what they are great at and making something out of it. 

And so like I said at the beginning, leaders (and parents!) should learn from shampoo. It's our job to create confidence in our teams - not just their confidence in our abilities to lead them, but more importantly confidence in their own abilities to dream more, learn more and do more. 

BSD, 19 February 2016. 23:59