The Opposite of Spoiled by Ron Lieber [Book Review]

I stumbled upon this book as I was searching for the right method to teach kids the value of money,
My son Raka is turning 8 this March and I've started to realise how important it is to start teaching him important life skills such as responsibility and money.

What attracted me to it was the 3 jars on the front cover which said GIVE-SAVE-SPEND.

The framework seemed simple and straightforward enough.

The writer suggests that kids should learn how to manage their money early on by getting a regular allowance, once they have learned how to count. The principle itself is simple. What was more interesting and more important though was the conversations that we needed to start having with children as they made decisions surrounding this money.

1. The 1st pot was for giving - this referred to the money that you give as charity to help other people without getting anything in return. Kids can decide who they want to give it to : the collection at church, the beggar on the street, an orphanage nearby or maybe save it up and give a significant contribution to a non profit of their choice? This exercise will not only teach them about generosity, it also helps to expose them to the multitude of social and environmental challenges that we face as a world and how we can do our part to help.

2. The 2nd pot was for saving - getting kids to learn to delay gratification and save their money for bigger ticket items or even in some cases for College or a Car.  An interesting exercise kids can do is to define what would be a good goal for them to save for. An expensive toy or an interesting experience - defining that and knowing what amount they need to save up.

3. The 3rd pot was for spending - which are for those occasional impulse purchases. Mom and dad will continue to provide their essential needs : food, clothing, school supplies and even the occasional dinners or movies out. But outside of that, any books or toys or even experiences which the child WANTS they need to buy themselves. During a holiday, this could mean that any choice of souvenir that the child buys is bought using that money. Or maybe a new paid app on the smartphone. As they make these choices, children learn not only about controlling their impulses but also eventually be able to see and understand what they truly value (Do I spend that 40K IDR on ice chocolate at Starbucks or a new book?

The book also talks about the importance of why kids should work. And I completely agree.
I grew up in a not so wealthy family. My parents were university professors and weren't always able to buy the latest toy, trendy clothes or hottest gadget. I learned early in life that if I wanted to buy something, I had to either control my impulse or find the money myself. So I opted for the latter. I started by saving up money which I got from relatives during holidays during my elementary and junior high school years. Later on when I was in high school, I participated in contests and would use the money I would sometimes earn from these competitions for the stuff I wanted. Once I was in uni, I was translating papers, teaching as an Assistant at the Faculty Lab and teaching English for children part time. It was this habit of working hard and not taking money for granted which I think has gotten me this far in my career.

In the end I realised that teaching my kids the value of money and how to manage it wisely required more than just these principles. It also required me to question my own ways of using money. It requires me to be able to control the urge to just buy that toy my boy has been nagging me to buy for the n-th time this month just because I can. Or pick up that cute shirt that's only 100K IDR just because it's cheap. It made me think about my definition of "Enough" and remind me just how much of my income should be given to others in need.

Only with that will my kids be able to learn the values of hard work, self control and generosity. And grow up to be the kind of responsible adults I want them to be.