Life Lessons : The Year I Dyed My Hair Purple (Edition #4 January 2019)

Happy new year everyone! I hope you all had a good break. I know my 3 week end of year leave that I take has always been proven to recharge and re-energize myself before I kick off the new year, this year included. And I’m proud to say that I did not even take a peek at my in box from the day I got on that train to Bandung till this Friday. It seems that the world still spun and all was in order despite me disconnecting (thanks to all of you!). It was great to just chill with no agenda, play board games and badminton and football with my 2 boys and catching up on sleeping, reading and netflix (How crazy was Bandersnatch?).

Of course with all that extra time and mind space, you can't help but think and reflect on the year that passed and the year that is ahead. The 3 books I read (Become by Michelle Obama, How to Stop Time and Notes on a Nervous Planet by Matt Haig)  certainly got me thinking a few things. Like how we need to use our privilege of working for Google thoughtfully and responsibly, thinking beyond the day to day business of getting more DAU or dollars and really thinking about how our products are truly making the world a better place. How technology has made us have an excess of choices and  information which can often make us feel overwhelmed and strained. Being able to sort through this and focus on what is real in this moment will be what keeps us sane.

Believe it or not though it was actually my newly obtained purple hair that truly sparked how I am looking at approaching this year differently.

Let me be clear, I did not ask for it to be (this) purple. As we all know pretty darn well, sometimes between the brief, the storyboard and the actual output, there can be a pretty stark difference. In this case, our definition of purple seemed to be quite different (the hair stylist and myself).

Naturally my first reaction was to freak out. Although I didn't have the heart to tell him outright that this was not what we had aligned (he was so excited and busy taking pictures for his Insta Story) and I just said “Lets just try this out (maybe it will grow on me and its not as nasty as I think)”. In any case, I can still go back in the next 2 weeks and ask them to darken the color so whats there to lose?

Anyway, as it turns out, reactions have been surprisingly positive (so far). Even my husband whom I thought would have a heart attack seeing this - has been very supportive and has not asked me to recolor it.

It’s growing on me though and so far I’ve decided to keep it as is. Not only because I am getting positive reactions but more than that, it serves as a reminder for myself on some of the things I want to live by going into 2019:

1. Screw ups are inevitable in life. It’s what you do with it that counts.  Even when people come with their best intentions and their utmost expertise, when expectations and vision is not aligned, or even some unknown force comes down on you, screw ups  can happen. But you always have a choice on how to respond in these situations. How you treat the other person (do you yell and complain or do you respond kindly), how you treat yourself (do you beat yourself up or can you laugh at yourself), and what you do afterwards (do you try desperately to rectify it or do you let it sit for a moment and let the emotion pass before you decide) can all lead to very different outcomes. What you see as a mistake or failure might be seen as a smash hit by others. And most importantly, always making sure that you learn from it and move forward.
2. As the Barden Bellas said in the song Freedom in Pitch Perfect 3 “Sometimes the clothes do not make the man”, never treat people based on how they look, how they dress, how successful or not they are. Someone who doesn't know me might see the purple hair and think that I must be a rebel who works in the creative industry (believe it or not the guy who dyed my hair asked me whether my office is ok with me having my hair colored like this!). We should never assume we know someone just by seeing them at a glance. We should never judge. Kindness and respect should be extended to anyone and everyone, whatever their hair color (or rank or religion or race or wealth).
3. Dare to be different. Dare to be great. Only by thinking differently, coloring out of the lines, out of the box and sometimes trying something completely new and unexpected like dying your hair purple, will we truly accomplish something great. This year will be about this courage. Courage to try something unfamiliar. Courage to be weird. Courage to be who you are authentically and not be ashamed of your faults, your weaknesses, your vulnerabilities. Only when we leave behind the old ways, embrace this new normal and do things differently will we finally see and get different results.
4. At the end of the day, the ones who truly matter will love and accept you for who you are and support you whatever you decide to do. Cherish them, make time for them, prioritize them above everything else. When you are with them in person, be there in person. Turn off your phone, have a movie night, dinner, go play a board game or badminton and have stupid debates about whether to replace the indoor plant or not. Set up monthly lunches with your siblings, regular date nights to try out the city’s top dinner spots, weekly catchups with different group of friends, quarterly trips home to see your parents and aim to get home before 7 at least 3 times a week., Turn on “App Timer” on your Android or “Screen Time” on your IOS so that your time on the screen and social media is in control and you don't lose yourself in your phone. You will forget that email you sent for work over dinner, and that instagram story which maybe 5 people responded to will be long gone. But those memories of being together with the people you love will be what remains in your mind for a very long time.

It’s gonna be another smashing year again, guys! I can already feel it!

It’ll take us thinking more deeply, doing things differently and daring more greatly.

It might freak you out at the beginning, but just take a deep breath, smile, and always be kind.

And voila! That year you thought was going to be tough might just turn out to be your best year yet!

Happy new year guys!