Life Lessons Edition 01 (January 2018)

Edition 01 (January 2018)

Last year I took part in Next Gen - Google marketing’s leadership program for L5s and L6s.

One of the things they taught me there that has stuck with me is that as a leader, it's ok to show your vulnerability to build trust and to show that it’s ok to fail and make mistakes and learn.

Because of this, I thought it would be interesting for me to just open up and share with you some of the tidbits and lessons of life that I learn each month - at work, at home, or in life. Some of these lessons might come from my own experiences or mistakes or successes or an observation I made about another person or something someone told me or I read about that struck a nerve.

This helps me do 2 things: 1)Brush up my writing abilities and 2)Force me to introspect and be more present with life.

If you're getting this email, it probably means you're important for me and I trust you to share my reflections without getting judged by you. Maybe you’ll find something interesting here. Maybe you will look at it and think it’s a complete waste of time and a load of crap which is also OK. This is pretty long so feel free to also ignore it completely or stash it away until you have time to read through it.  Either way, thanks!:)

So here goes edition #01..

Musing #1 : Life goes on even without social media

As all of you might know, I decided I would go on a social media detox earlier this month as part of my resolution this year. My timeline had been full of holiday photos from all of my friends and one day I just thought to myself “What’s the point?” Why is it that we feel the need to share to people whom we met a decade ago and have never met since about where we went on holiday, our opinion on the latest political debacle or that my son has learned how to ride a bike? Does it really matter to them? Are we really making ourself and other people happier by our humble brags and intelligently crafted opinions and perfectly taken shots? Or are we actually making each other more miserable by being able to compare our lives with the perfect and edited version of others?

I was guilty of both sides and I wanted to see how my life could change once I took social media out of the equation. So I went cold turkey right then and there and deleted Facebook and Instagram from my phone. I had tried to do this few times through out the past 2 years (usually during Lent season) and had failed miserably. This time however, I was determined to succeed. I read an article that said that when you establish a habit for 1 month, it usually sticks with you so I aimed at doing just that.

It’s now about 27 days that I’ve gone nearly 100% off social media. The only times I opened FB or IG were on my Chrome browser and that was to 1)check out the name and WA of an OLS for my home decor (and I just did that and closed it again) and 2)to find a photo of my kids and their grandparents for a school task (which at the end was found in my Photos collection anyway!).

At the beginning, the time was replaced with browsing in e-commerce apps to find stuff to fill my house (which at the end didnt all become a purchase).But that also passed and I replaced it with reading e-books or catching up on some Netflix series or YouTube video or just reading through my Google Feed. More importantly, I was focused on just those people and those activities who mattered the most to me. I took to WA to share photos or articles that were of interest and only to groups whom I thought would find it relevant and would not judge me for being a certain way. And I had more time and attention to just be with them. To talk, to play, to read, to be present and with this note here: to start writing again!

Do I miss my timeline? Do I feel like I am missing out?

Surprisingly not at all.

I can always be in the know of those who matter the most through chat or conversations.

And as for the news, the really important recent ones eventually hit WA groups. And the random ones on topics I am interested (like Donald Trump or Megan Markle or the Marvel Cinematic Universe) in feed into my Google app.

Social media is over rated. Life doesn't just go on without it, it’s better!

Musing #2 : Writing stuff down actually does help structure your thoughts and your work

Many of you know I have a pretty bad case of short term memory loss. If I were a fish, I would be Dory who often forgets the small details of life or things that were discussed just days ago.

I’m a big picture kind of person, I tell myself to make me feel better. I wear my ENFP badge proudly.

My principle for a to do list was quite simple : Do it as before I forget it. This meant that I was also a master multi-tasker. Because when I was doing A and remembered that I had to do B I would switch gears and do B and leave A behind. This didn't go well with my husband because I ended up doing stuff on my phone as I was driving home with him and this annoyed him.

So one day he told me: Write down your stuff! It will help you remember and make sure you dont miss anything and it will help you be present and focus on tasks/stuff at hand.

And like many long time married couples, I didnt listen to him. The greatest advice in the world often sounds like the stupidest idea coming from your spouse. So I kept going with my sort of working for me method. I had notebooks but seemed to always just scribble in them and I kept on changing books. It became more of a tool to help me note down big picture takeaways during meetings but did not help me remember details and structure my thoughts.

Until one day, Fida (also an ENFP) taught me the bullet journal system and I started to see how it could be helpful. I tried it out for some time and even went to the usual extreme of going to Pinterest to find cute journal templates and what not and yet the habit never stuck with me. Seemed that trying to follow these artsy templates just made me feel it was too hard and I eventually gave it up.

At the start of this year however, I used just 1 principle of bullet journaling which is to index your notes in a way that will make it easy to find any note on any topic in the past (having a table of contents and then updating the pages as you started writing). And it has been transformational!

The method worked!

I am now taking more detailed notes on everything and in 1 single book - from meeting notes to my to do list and it has really helped me to remember it all in much greater detail, helped me to stay on track with my to do list and even helped me formulate my thoughts and plans more.

Research apparently shows that writing down things actually help create spatial relations between various bits of information we are recording. This means that when we write — before we write, although indistinguishably so — we are putting some degree of thought into evaluating and ordering the information that we are receiving. That process, and not the notes themselves, is what helps fix ideas more firmly in our minds, leading to greater recall down the line.

Those of you who are P’s like me, trust me,  it’s worth taking the time to start jotting down your thoughts on a book and sticking with it!

That's it for this month's edition. Those who have made it to the end : A huge thanks for bearing with me! Hope you found it at all useful! Till next month's musings!