Life Lessons 03 (March 2018) : Birth and Death, the only 2 things in life that are certain

In the past 1 week, my WhatsApp feed has been filled with 5 deaths. 2 of people I don't know closely. 3 of whom I have 1 degree of separation. 2 of whom I had worked with at one time. 1 who was the father of my son's classmate.

The causes were all very different. Heart attack. Cancer. Gastric reflux. Drowning.

They died in different ages too. From someone barely into their 30s to a man well into their 70s.

I was reminded this week just how sudden our life can end. How unexpected it creeps up and snatches away everything you thought was important. How short and temporary our life is. And how death is completely out of our control.

And as I scroll through my feed and read through how these people are remembered, I am once again reminded that in the end what we leave behind is not our success or achievements, but the little things we do. "He was always very friendly and patient.", "She was my partner in crime." Even the death of Hari Darmawan, founder of Matahari retail group was remembered not merely by his success in building one of the largest retailers in the country but his humility and purpose driven philosophy of doing business.

2 of these deaths were also fathers of young children. These hit me the most and finally triggered me to write this. As parents, we often assume and hope that we will raise them until they are in college, then see them work, marry and maybe have children of their own. We mistakenly think that we have 18 years to raise them and shape them and give them enough stock of love for the rest of their life.

We forget that at any point in our life, this chance can be taken away and that whatever amount of love and wisdom we have given to them at that time will be enough. Enough for them to face any hardship in life with a strong heart and to find hope when everything is lost.

And so on the eve of my 36th birthday, and as I celebrate the gift that is life itself, I ask myself these questions:
1. How do I want to be remembered? Are my behavior and my words reflecting the values I want to live by? Am I spending enough time and energy on the people that matter?
2. ‎How am I preparing my boys for life without me? Am I filling their hearts with enough love and compassion? Am I teaching them to be resilient when things are hard? Am I expecting them to be independent and to be a fighter? Am I making each of them feel confident and loved no matter what?